No, really - what is your EMERGENCY?

This used to be the journal of a nursing student at a prestigious 4 year university that will still remain unnamed. This is now the journal of a Registered Nurse working in an Emergency Department in a major US city. All names have been changed to protect the stupid and the mean. There is no educational value in this journal, sometimes it will be downright mean and catty - this is where I come to vent!

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Helo Ride Along and the first day of classes

I spent all day yesterday doing a ride along with the EMS helo at our hospital. It was great! I am sure that it is really what I want to do.

Today was the first day of classes for the Spring 2005 semester. It sucked. We expected it to suck, so at least we weren't disappointed. This semester my two clinical classes are Maternal/Newborn Health (read birthin' babies) and Community Health. My community health rotation is going to be with the EPA, so that might acutally be interesting. I have absolutely no interest in labor and delivery. But, I am sure that I will have a ready supply of interesting stories for you all!

Story of the week: I wasn't there, but the person who told me this story was personally involved and it definitely meets the icky story requirement to be posted. A Nurse Practitioner working at a county jail facility had an inmate come into her office complaining of burning, itching, and a discharge from her vagina. She assumed "the position" for a physical exam and while the NP is examining her she says, "Hey doc, while you are down there can you check to see if I left a $20 bill in my cooch?" She was serious. Apparently before going to a party where she was sure she was going to get mugged, she decided to carry her cash in her "built in wallet". She forgot how much she had put in and wasn't sure if she got it all out.

There are several points to this story: 1. You hear wacky stuff when you work in a jail. 2. If you are going to store your money in your vagina, remember how much you put in. 3. It might be a good idea to put your money in a plastic bag before you shove it in. And 4. Money is a WHOLE lot dirtier than you ever imagined!!

And finally, one more note for your education. Things that are bad: a cough, rectal bleeding, and cocaine.


5 Comments:

  • At 2:13 PM, Blogger Kevin said…

    What kind of dumbass goes to a party where they expect to get mugged?

     
  • At 9:01 PM, Blogger Yolanda said…

    Apparently the music was going to be really good. Go figure.

     
  • At 4:16 AM, Blogger S.B. said…

    Sounds like a short term memory loss problem for this inmate.

    Cough, Rectal Bleeding, and Cocaine. Bad. Got it.

     
  • At 12:55 PM, Blogger FASTAC_6 said…

    If you do enough nursing, eventually you'll see everything. Tampon retrieval is a perennial ER favorite. Just how DO you misplace ANYTHING in a vagina? Not like it can travel far....

     
  • At 11:29 AM, Anonymous Darin said…

    Sure your friend is not going to a Thai jail? Sounds familiar.....

     

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